[video] Addicted to Pornography and Masturbation? Get help!

addicted to pornography and masturbation

Are you addicted to pornography and masturbation? Watch this beautiful lady – Sharon as share her testimony.

hey guys welcome to this video I’m

Sharon for those who don’t know me and

I’ll just be sharing my testimony so how

I came to Christ so yeah I gave my life

to the Lord

towards the end of 2016 so either in

August or September I can’t remember

exactly the month but it was around that

time and so that means I have been saved

for like two years and a bit but yeah so

– just like share my testimony in

everything I’ll have to go all the way

back to my childhood so yeah so for me I

grew up in a Christian household however

I did not have a personal relationship

Lord I was raised up as a Catholic to be

specific I went to Catholic nursery

Catholic Primary School Catholic

Secondary School when sick form and I

would go to Catholic Church but on the

other hand my mum would go to our

African Pentecostal church and sometimes

she would make us go with her there so

yeah I was going to Catholic Church and

Pentecostal church at the same time like

in all that I did not know the Lord I

did not have a relationship with him I

didn’t have the right perception of the

Lord I didn’t know who he was I used to

think that he was an angry God who just

wanted to punish everyone I would go to

Catholic Church and they would send for

the Pentecostal church and the

Pentecostal church was sent for the

Catholic so i was confused i was just

like these people cussing them man knees

man cussing them man what am i doing

like I’m just so confused I had so many

questions like I didn’t know who Jesus

was like all I knew is that he well son

God came and died and raised again I

didn’t know why we needed Jesus I didn’t

know why he died I didn’t know the

impact of him you know rising from the

dead I didn’t know what that all meant

for me like I didn’t know I just knew

that he came I know if he died anyways

again like well why I didn’t

and with my perception of the Lord being

angry and like always wanting to punish

people just like you know when I would

for sure

it would I would feel so scared like I

was terrified of God like seriously

terrified of God so I would run away and

in this time just to be transparent

because transparency is great

it can bless someone so um throughout my

childhood and teenage years I was

addicted to pornography and masturbation

um looking back at it was looking back

now it was definitely an addiction at

time I didn’t think it was but now as

I’m saved and delivered by the grace of

God I can definitely see that was it was

mad and it’s crazy because I became

addicted to all of that quite young um

so yeah with all of that I just felt

like a really really bad person like

ugly and like God hated me and wanted to

punish me so I kind of like ran away

from him and kind of like locked all

knowledge all you know interaction with

God because I just didn’t want to deal

with the reality of sin or my sin I

could say I did have a period of time

where I tried to please the rule with my

works or think that doing certain works

would earn my favor would earn favor

with him however I never got peace so I

just kind of like ran away

so like fast forwarding now to my

teenage years I’m still addicted to

pornography and masturbation and

to be honest I didn’t I felt that I feel

like I knew it was wrong but I would

always come with the excuse that you

know at least I’m still a virgin I’m not

actually having sex but um it’s still

sexual morality still bad it’s still

sexual morality still a sin there are no

levels to it still sin it’s still wrong

anyways so yeah in my teenagers are

still struggling with that and as I as I

grew older like in my teenage years I

believe I was kind of like experiencing

experiencing a form of depression I

don’t want to diagnose myself because I

never went to any counselor any

psychologist so I can’t say that I was

actually depressed but I was just really

really low over time and really angry

and bitter and like how I related to the

Lord now at this point in my life I was

very resentful towards him I was just

really angry with life and just like why

am I here

like just experiencing disappointments

in life in friendships and just feeling

lonely and rejected I was just really

really angry and there were times that I

just really desire to die like I really

wanted to like die and it wasn’t even a

thing of where I couldn’t go on all I

may be however it was more from a

selfish side selfish side to kind of

like be to everyone you’ve made me feel

like this so I’m gonna take my life so

you lots can feel pain and know that you

did this to me so it was very very very

wicked and around this time I began to

like question you know life after death

and eternity and I remember I used to

sit in my room and just think like

imagine an eternity like no end like

contemplating like I’m some philosopher

or some something like that and I was

just think like life off the Deaf

imagine an eternity in hell oh my gosh

what and just think like oh my gosh and

eternity in hell and just feel really

really really really scared and just

like either on one hand kind of like not

like they try to think on the subject of

like eternity or life after death or

just quickly say a repentance prayer but

still in my heart knowing no peace so

that’s what was going on with me at that

time and I was just filled with fear

because I just felt condemned and I was

just felt like I’m destined to go I felt

destined that to go to hell like the

Lord was gonna serve me tell and punish

me but I just felt hopeless I was just

like like there’s no hope because you

know like it speak for me they’re all or

that’s gonna punish me and I’m a bad

person sitting like like that I just

felt that there was nothing I could do

whom there’s nothing like nothing could

redeem me and because of how my life was

at the time in terms of like going

through teenage years or I don’t think

they’re going for like puberty or like

just not having the greatest time as a

teenager I was I would always long for

better days and so I got into the

reading horoscopes astrology and all

that crap so that one like your daily

horoscope I read that as if it was my

Bible verse of the day I read it every

day religiously it was mad and I

identified with everything they would

say about my star sign and I would take

as if it was truth that was my Bible

back in the day as a teenager just trash

oh my gosh wanna see rubbish and I’d be

like yeah this explains me so well yeah

yeah yeah I’ll read my daily horoscope

daily love horoscope all of that all of

that and yeah I was just into that and

just wanting to know what the future

held because like I didn’t have hope I

wanted to have hope but I didn’t know

what it was just really really really

mad I just

my mind was all over the place but there

was one time in my

teenage years where I don’t know what

happened but I was really really really

in pain emotionally and mentally and I

was just in my room crying I’m her Lord

why would you do this to me why would

you bring me into this world why would I

be putting this family why am i alive

and I believe I heard the Lord speak to

me and saying don’t worry have hope

things will get better and I kind of

took that I took that and yeah so I took

that and it kind of filled me with hope

however like I still didn’t have a

relationship with the Lord and still

running away from him so yeah I was

still running away from the Lord and not

wanting to deal with the gravity of my

nature you know kind of like yeah

ignoring it because I felt like there

was no hope for me I fall out those no

hope that the Lord will look at me and

say yeah you’re going to no matter what

you do you’re going to help you deserve

a bad life

I used to genuinely think the Lord

wanted to punish me in that all the

things I was going through as a teenager

and all up until I gave my life to him

like health wise and just emotionally a

lack of like my really really weird

friendships in terms of like always

feeling rejects it’ll be rejected or

just never having a long lasting

friendship was because Lord wanted to

punish me because I was a bad person

because I did bad things and you know

the Lord just wanted to punish me like I

deserved it even though technically we

deserve death but we have Jesus why deny

that and so yeah that’s what I was

thinking was going

out my teenage years and childhood so

now fast forward again I go off to uni

and when I go to unit one of the first

things I do is stop going church because

there was no one that forced me to go to

church so every Sunday I would just have

a lying a lion

I wouldn’t go to church and I won’t lie

I did try to go to church on one

occasion however being Bell so

frustrating and so uncomfortable for me

I felt so so frustrated and it made me

really angry because I just didn’t get

it so I kind of like gave up on you know

all of that unfaithful and everything

and yeah so in my second year this is

where everything gets a bit mad um in my

second year I feel like certain heart

issues started to come back up in terms

of loneliness and rejection I started to

feel very very alone I didn’t feel

secure in my friendships at all and I

started to isolate myself a bit I didn’t

really go coming or drink um as

regularly as I did in first year or in

general however when I would go out and

when I would drink I would drink a lot I

would go all out so I can say I did

perceive that my relationship with

alcohol was beginning to get a bit mad

however at the time I passed it off as

like unknown I caught a kind of drink

all the time but when I drank I drank so

there was an issue I wasn’t happy with

myself I wasn’t comfortable in myself I

used to feel like I needed alcohol to

loosen up and I preferred myself drunk

I preferred myself under the influence

of alcohol because I just thought I felt

free I felt like people preferred me

when I was drunk and it was just it was

just rubbish just rubbish so an incident

happened where I went out

I’m too clubbing event with my friends

and I had consumed such a large amount

of alcohol I ended up getting separated

from my friends and passing out on the

toilet with woman all over me um I had

blacked out but I blessed the Lord for

even in this situation his hand his hand

was always upon my life and he was just

protecting me and like that situation

whenever I think of it I just blessed

the Lord because that situation could

have gone so left some anything could

have happened to me in that state when I

got separated from my friends I like

anything could have happened like things

that I just don’t want to even think of

I just blessed the Lord even in that

stupid situation that I got myself into

he was there protecting me oh Jesus

thank you for your mercy because oh my

gosh we have that situation happen and I

just went on a downward spiral Oh like I

was so bitter I was so bitter towards

everyone bearing in mind it was me that

consumed the alcohol it was me that

drunk this alcohol no one forced me to

drink but I was bitter towards everyone

around me for not protecting me or

looking up for their drunk friend or not

following their friend to the toilet

knowing that she was drunk and I began

to question my friendships and just all

like all these heart issues of feeling

left out and just never truly loved came

back and it started to eat away I mean

that people don’t like people Jen you

don’t care about me and

it really led to me isolating myself and

just becoming and just becoming hardened

in my heart towards people and not

wanting to let them in um even at this

time I was angry towards God

like what Oh God how could this happen

to me or hold me like what was it why

like what I think back to how I used to

think I’m just like thank you God for

your grace and mercy because I put

myself in that situation not to be

shouting at God and there is a proverb

but um speaks on this let me see if I

can find him so I found the proverb and

it is proverbs 19 verse 3 and it says

people ruined their lives by their own

foolishness and then are angry at God

and this was literally me I had consumed

this alcohol I had ended up in that

situation and I was angry at God for not

protecting me from the situation just

don’t understand like I really don’t

understand that the entire I don’t

understand the entitlement I was feeling

that that I was thinking was mad he’s

just going back to you you know

everything I was just bitter towards

everyone I would cry myself to sleep um

I didn’t want to speak to anyone I

didn’t want to talk to anyone and but I

had no no I’m saying I mean oh my camera

died this way but I had this friend who

was saved and I was actually living with

her at the time however I didn’t tell

her about this situation because I

didn’t want to be judged by a Christian

like I didn’t want to be judged I

thought like she judged me at times

which wasn’t the case but I just always

felt judged by her so I didn’t tell her

what had happened what was going on but

she had found out through someone else

what had happened and I had heard that

she wanted to speak to me on Jesus and

when I heard that I don’t know war but I

just fought some kind of rage and kind

of like why does she want to speak to me

on Jesus Jesus I don’t need jesus i have

jesus for some reason I felt like I had

Jesus was pride

and like I thought like some kind of you

know I don’t know some I don’t know but

I felt like I didn’t need Jesus because

out I apparently already had him and

looking back I most definitely didn’t

have Jesus like I’ve been knowing that

I’ve been nude up I’m looking back I

didn’t know I didn’t have Jesus then and

if that was the case that I knew Christ

and I had a relationship with the Lord I

would not have reacted in such a

prideful manner because that was pride I

felt like there’s nothing wrong with me

life is fine like it was just a one-off

I just drunk like excessively on one

occasion that my life isn’t in ruins and

types of things like that I didn’t want

to feel like a I don’t know you know

like someone who comes to the end of

themselves like this and you know I

didn’t want to feel like that I kind of

like rejected all like kind of

conversation in regards to talking about

Jesus to me in in that incident at this

time as well I wish do it like you know

addicted to all that nonsense and I

started I was experiencing sleep

paralysis quite frequently and it would

always be in my uni room near my door I

would see a black figure just standing

there just standing outside of my room

sometimes pinning me down

I just felt heavy like I was

experiencing lots of sleep paralysis at

the time um so I was just going through

it I was going through it however I had

decided in my second year that I was

going to do a year abroad so I found out

ok well I’ll do my yearbook things would

get better and I I look back now and I

feel like my yearbook was me trying to

run away from everything and trying to

start again you know run away from all

my heart issues run away from all the

issues I’m having and just kind of start

again so now let’s fast forward to

my third year my second / third year

because this happened in the same year

2016 so yeah my second year / third year

is yeah 2016 so do y’all go state so now

fast forward to when I go to my year

abroad in Australia and my wall fell

apart I could have run away from my

issues like I couldn’t run away from the

emotional hurt the mental hurt and

confusion that was going on in my mind

all these high shoes it came it came all

at once it was mad I had never felt so

lonely in my life like I felt genuinely

like I had no one no one to turn to no

one I talked I started to experience

really really really bad social anxiety

um being around people cause me to be

very very anxious to the point where

like it made me sick to be around people

like I don’t feel physical pain because

I was so uncomfortable around people

like going into the corridors in my

accommodation my whole be doing skidded

it back like it was just moving mad like

I did not feel peace I was always

anxious always like in like in my head

but I could not feel comfortable and

this anxiety amidst my Christmas all the

time led me to feeling slightly

depressed and being awake was torture it

was torture I hated every minute of my

waking life of my life awake oh my gosh

being awake was so draining so painful I

felt so low so isolated so lonely so

heavy that it got to a point where I

just would force myself to be asleep so

I’ll wake up and force myself to go back

to sleep if I could I’ll have a shower I

only managed to make it out of my room

to have a shower but even then I would

calculate and make sure no one was

around and that I wouldn’t interact with

people so yeah I would wake up and go to

sleep I stopped eating I didn’t go into

the kitchen I stopped eating

even to like take the bins out was a

struggle because I didn’t want to see

people so my bins would pile up until it

got really bad then I’ll take everything

out but like yeah I was getting really

really really sick of being isolated in

my room wah I didn’t feel like I could

go out and be around people I found it

hard at one point and through all of

this I did try to turn to alcohol and

and go clubbing but in the moment it

felt great you know being under the

influence we were and like being free

but however the day after then the day

off did that I’d feel bad out for even

worse than what I thought before I had

consumed alcohol and I saw myself for

possibly going down the route of

alcoholism and having to be dependent on

alcohol all the time and I was like nah

that’s long so yeah I stopped doing all

of that and really just stayed in my

room sleeping 24/7 but I blessed Lord

because I was acquainted with a girl who

is now one of my closest friends and if

you know me you know who she is and who

I’m talking about you know who you are

and she was on the air board as well so

she was from she was also from work

University and she was doing a year

abroad and she had been saved a year

prior to going to on this year abroad

and I think she discerned she discerned

that there was something wrong with me

she hadn’t seen me for a while so she

messaged me or maybe she caught me 100

days I did leave my room and asked me

what how was everything and I think I

kind of opened up that I’m just feeling

a bit weird and she just invited me to

church and when she invited me to church

I thought okay it’ll be I was stuck

church I mean at least I’m leaving the

house and I’ll be around people that I

kind of know so I’ll be alright

Churchill right I just you know but when

I started to go to church I like there

was this desire for the road that just

ignited and sprouted up within me like I

suddenly wanted to know Jesus I wanted

to know God I was like

I really really want to know what I

really want to know Jim the God the

Jesus I was hearing the Jesus I was

hearing at church was different from you

know the perception I had before like I

was seeing or hearing of God as this

loving father as like of course that

loves me like genuinely desires to have

relationship with me through Jesus

Christ um I was learning about the

person of Jesus than just oh he did and

how much he loved men there was this

desire in me to know the Lord and I

would see my friend and her relationship

with the Lord and her desire to grow in

intimacy and just pursue him and also I

want that I want that you know and yeah

I just began to seek the Lord and I

remember as I was seeking him I would

get frustrated a lot because I was like

I just want Jesus I just want to know

him I just want to express I just want

an encounter so yeah so this is where

everything changes now so there was one

night I was in my room I was I was in my

room and anxiety and depression was

trying to impress me it was oppressing

me and I just started worshiping I

started worshiping and I started praying

I started crying out to the Lord for

help and I remember just being in my

room and just like worshiping and just

like praying literally I just remember

my highlight so when you’re like in the

air and all of a sudden as I’m praying

I’m crying out as I’m worshiping and

singing I start to feel a peace that

surpasses all understanding and as I

continue praying as I’m praying to the

Lord like what I was saying was starting

to not like make sense to me anymore it

wasn’t English anymore it was like

different syllables different sounds

were coming out of my mouth so I began

to pray in tongues and speak in tongues

and in that minute I was being but I was

being baptized with the Holy Spirit I

was baptized with the Holy Spirit I

remember as I might like what I was

saying began to change into like a thing

I’ve never had before top oh my gosh in

my head I was like oh my gosh I’m

speaking speaking in tongues but I did

like you know psych myself out of it all

like stops I just carried on I just

carried on and I just felt peace I just

felt peace that just overwhelmed me

I just felt a peace are overwhelmed me

and in that moment the Lord spoke to me

and just reassured me that everything

would be okay that he’s with me that he

will get me through but he will never

leave me

and I wrote something in my on my phone

as the ruler was speaking to me and I’m

gonna try and find it now okay so I

found what I wrote on my phone and it

turns out that this encounter actually

happened on the 25th of October 2016 so

yeah I gave my life to the Lord in

October not in August you’re not told

why I gave my life to Lord and this is

what the Lord said to me and I wrote it

I will never fail you you are my child

the apple of my eye

who is it that has sustained you this

far is it not me so please don’t worry

lay all your troubles aside bring them

to me and I will show you that I am

great greater than all your fears your

worries and your pain and when I heard

that from the Lord I was just I was I

was overwhelmed then I was actually in

awe I hope it’s just in all of the

moment and then just what the Lord had

done in that moment that he had taken my

fear my pain everything and like I felt

free I felt peace I thought oh I thought

joy and in that moment I knew the Lord

like cared I was like God you’re real

one you care but the feeling I felt in

his presence is nothing like I’ve ever

felt when I have thought of God or you

know anything to do with him before it

was it was just so real and the Lord is

good because I believe in that moment I

had been freed from a lot of a lot of

things I was struggling with like I

mentioned before I was addicted to

pornography I mastered

however after that incident I didn’t

have the desire to and I didn’t until I

backside which I’ll get into later and

like the desire to read daily horoscopes

kind of work off and left like I didn’t

have the desire for those things I just

wanted Jesus to know him more you know

so I feel like that was the turning

point in my life in terms of God Wow God

like Wow

yeah but despite that encounter our lie

I believed in the Lord like I had given

my life to him I surrendered my life to

Him like I believed however I didn’t go

into the world and get grounded in truth

and like I said in my other video 3 the

advice to new Christians when you get to

me when you give your life to Christ

guys it’s so important to get grounded

in the word to read the word and be

rooted in truth because the enemy will

attack him and throw temptation your way

throw attacks your way and if you don’t

know the full extent to which you have

been freed if you don’t know the true

authority that you have in Jesus Christ

you’re like a sitting duck like is mad

um and that’s what happened to me

because I wasn’t reading the truth and I

also kind of like distance myself from

Christian community and all of that led

to me backsliding so after I gave my

life to the Lord I was like I was

growing I was still you know seeking the

Lord I went back to the UK in like

mid-november and I didn’t go back to

Australia till February so in that time

between November and February I was and

the Lord is great because he enabled me

to get a job and I needed that money

I needed that she money honey I’m

however I wasn’t going to church and I

wasn’t reading the Bible I wasn’t you

know around Christian saying who would

start with who would challenge me and by

the time I had come back to Australia I

did kind of go to church but I was like

I’m not feeling this because of like

just Church her that I hadn’t healed

from from my past you know from

childhood and I just stopped going

Church um I just wanted upon returning

to Australia as well I had moved out

with my uni accommodation and moved into

a new house and my landlord was lovely

but she was hindi when she would have

all these idols everywhere and she

hadn’t she even had a temple like a

shrine that’s what I call it a shrine in

her house so I’m when I look back I’m

just like lord have mercy

because spiritually that isn’t great let

alone for a new Christian to be around

and in that environment um when I would

slip up and I would feel conviction at

this point like that was conviction of

the Holy Spirit however I kind of

ignored it I still had a desire for the

Lord and like compared to how I was

before Christ obviously I had different

relationship or way of relating through

all that was different I had a desire

for him however I was so condemned I

thought so condemned the enemy would

literally accuse me you know because I

had fallen back into this sin like I had

fallen into temptation again and in all

of these things and I’ll just feel

condemnation and feel like I don’t want

my daddy but I can’t come to him to

everything the enemy would remind me of

things from my past which would

literally just keep me awake and

sometimes cause me to question like if

I’m really safe like Lord like you’ve

really forgiven me from that like you

see that huge like you know and just

keep me awake at night

so I was struggling with all of that I

was in that backslidden state for about

five six months and then I returned to

England after my year abroad

and I’m never gonna lie like oh I think

about – a few days after I returned back

to the UK and I had a dream and in this

dream I was with a few other people and

I was with Jesus we were at his feet we

were with him and we were just with him

reading the word he was reading the word

to us we were just like taking the word

in and just enjoying fellowship and

enjoying time with him

I thought love I thought peace

I thought joy I just felt filmin yeah it

was good I was just like oh wow Jesus

yay and then Jesus took me now he took

me now to another place and this place

was dark this place was just there was

nothing in it I just there was just

nothing this if that’s even a word there

was nothing this it was dark

I thought fear like a fear I’ve never

felt the foot was very I was in a

sinister like was just like oh my gosh

just like and Jesus was like to me

Sharon this is a life without me it’s

this what you really want no she’s like

no no no no and I at that I woke up I

was like yay lord have mercy on me and I

repented leonie and I thanked him for

you know like reaching out to me and

just like opening my eyes and just like

sharing like baby girl wah like this

like were you doing you have me like

come on like you know and I just prayed

I know just like Lord so sorry and so

yeah later on that day I got a Bible and

I just opened up to chuck the book of

John and I was playing Travis green who

you waited and I’ve listened to this

song so many times before however I had

never heard this part before um it the

beginning of it it says you came out of

your way to come and sit and talk with

me and upon hearing that I just

into tears because like Jesus came out

of his way to talk to me even after I

had you know experienced him I had had

an encounter I’m like I had known him

and still returned to trash and I was

just like lord thank you for your mercy

thank you for your goodness and I was

just overwhelmed by his goodness and his

love and His mercy that he pursued me

and he saw me going down some negative

path then he just came and like took me

back onto the Pape he had set me on I

can honestly say that the Lord has

transformed my life and has been

transforming my life like has been a

great journey it’s been a journey and it

hasn’t always been easy but it’s been

worth it and I’m just so grateful

because I cannot imagine life without

the Lord I can’t imagine doing life

without the Lord kind of imagined life

about Jesus I ain’t even laugh that’s

death my movie like The Walking Dead and

I’m not here for right no I am so

grateful to Lord for him because like I

said he’s transformed my life he’s

transformed it completely Jesus Jesus

has truly conquered all he’s truly

conquered all like no matter how crazy

how mad you’ve fallen

no matter what mad thing you’ve done

like Jesus has conquered it all Jesus

died for it all and his blood covers it

water he is the perfect sacrifice and

it’s only through him that we can have

this freedom of this relationship with

brother that we are made right that we

are free from sin like nothing in our

own strength could ever please the Lord

or bring will give us salvation it’s

only through Jesus Christ and he there’s

nothing too small and there’s nothing

too big for him like think of the worst

thing someone can post

Jesus’s blood covers up and I’m just

gonna read out a 60-second gospel for

you and it goes like this

God loves you God hates sin because he’s

righteous because he’s pure because he’s

just he’s good and perfect he hates him

even if you were a good person you have

not lived a perfect life nor has anyone

else and your sin has separated you from

God your payment for sin is death and

hell but there is good news a perfect

substitute can make your payment and God

loves you so much that he gave Jesus as

your substitute and through the death of

Jesus Christ you can have eternal life

and by his resurrection death is the

fear this gift is free and you can never

deserve him and just by accepting this

gift your sins will be forgiven and

forgotten and you will be reconciled to

God and you relive with him forever in

heaven and guys this gospel is true this

gospel is true

um yeah guys I pray this has blessed you

please share this video so others can be

blessed please give this video a thumbs

up subscribe mine god bless you all

y’all best yeah used to be that brother

where there are two he’s the player fees

are higher honor my pal

I was trying to score lay up to our real

life God has a girl yanking hot stop



Do you think this testimony can help someone who is addicted to pornography and masturbation? Please do share, if yes.